deardiary

Dear Diary

Day 1

I saw this girl standing on the opposite platform today, waiting like I was. Almost exactly like I was actually - slouched at the end of day made much too long, iPod plugged into ears, staring off into the middle distance.

Day 3

I saw that girl (from a couple of days ago) again today. We made eye contact for a second across the tracks, but in the usual manner of strangers looked away nearly instantly when we realised eye contact had been made.

Day 5

She was there again (see about 2 days ago). Noticed she had medium length wavy hair. She wasn’t listening to her iPod today, but had a book in hand. Couldn’t tell which book - too far. Greenish cover.

Day 9

That girl at the station again. Noticed she has a gorgeous figure. Spent more time looking at her than down the tracks waiting for the train.

Day 10

She was there again. Eye contact made again, lingered for more than the usual.

Day 11

And again. Couple of consistent days now. She varies her hair daily, but for all that it’s still long and wavy. Intrigued. iPod is back, novel seems to have been finished. Made effort to smile at her, but I don’t know if it came out right or indeed at all, as she looked away without response.

Day 12

Smiled at her today and she smiled back. Small, quick smile, but a simple acknowledgment no less. Looks like I could have some fun here.

Day 13

She was sitting down today; either she managed to get a seat, or was tired. On phone until her train pulled in. Feeling little less happy; weekend ahead.

Day 16

Running late today; arrived just in time to see her disappear behind her train.

Day 17

Saw her again. Announcement came over PA expressing regret at being late, so I mouthed “Not Again” & rolled my eyes exaggeratedly (is that even a word?). She smiled back with a small shrug and put down her shopping bag. Her shirt today was a bright pink that really stood out.

* * *

Day 18

Actually getting out from work by the clock to make it in time for that train, those 5 minutes before. She was looking lost in thought today, and my train pulled in first. She looked up and directly at me before my train pulled out, the distance between us halved.

Day 19

She has a boyfriend, it seems. He was carrying flowers, and they were standing hand-in-hand.

Day 24

I know I haven’t written about that girl at the station in the last few days; I guess seeing she had a boyfriend threw whatever notions I may have had out of my head and I started avoiding that train instead of looking forward to it. But I was there again today, and this time she smiled at me. Confused. Seems to be something like a high school crush. How pathetic.

Day 25

As I put my ticket into the gate, she was there next to me - I glanced over and realised with a shock that it was her. I looked up at her face, and she looked back, a flash of recognition in her eyes. We were both late though, and ran to make our trains.

Day 27

Was talking to Ryan when she came up the stairs on the opposite platform. I couldn’t help but look over and give her a smile. Ryan won’t let it go now, and is calling her my station crush, to go with my former train crush, bus crush(es), and that crush when I was working at that pizza place back in uni. Ryan must be eliminated; he knows too much.

Day 30

She was crying today. Just quiet and not too obvious, but she was sitting down and had despair writ large over her face. Totally lacking an idea of how to deal with this. I looked the other way, again confused.

Day 31

She was quite clearly sad. Destroyed my mood for the night, couldn’t stop thinking what to do, or what could have happened. Any number of things, and I can’t do anything. I’m a total stranger.

Day 32/33/34

She’s still pretty sad. Weekend ahead going back to visit the family; will ask Emily for some advice.

Day 37

Serendipity, I believe they call it.

Long(er) story. She was standing in front of the ticket gates lost in thought, seemingly staring up at the next train displays. I saw the chance and stood next to her until she noticed. She looked at me after about a minute with a little bit of shock, I think. Her eyes were still rimmed red.

“Whatever made you lose that smile has got to be something pretty terrible,” I said, not looking at her directly, “so I was wondering if there was anything a stranger could do to help.”

She was silent, and then I looked at her. Her eyes scanned my face intensely, and something tripped a neuron in my head. She looks so damn familiar.

“No way…” she said, a note of disbelief in her voice.

I was lost. And then I saw it too, as the smile crept back onto her face for the first time in days. “Oh you’re kidding, right? After 10 years and on the other side of the world? Only you!” I said, laughing. We hugged for the first time in years.

I’ve found my Rachel again.